Anguish~!

I gave 'her' an ultimatum.

Either she wants a Long-Term R.E.A.L. relationship (with all the ups & downs, pains and gains).

Maybe she is REAL enough to read and see the genuine love.
-She amazed me though
.she is a fighter
.she is a passionate lover [almost obsessively]
.she is spiritual
.she is somewhat of an enigma (can't really figure her out --> gotta keep digging)
.she is evolving (with her style [dressing], words [blogging])
.she is consistent with her rhythm (waking up at dawn to pray and get work done)

Dear Lord:
Help me figure out where the feet are heading. What is ordained? I know what is written. I thoroughly know who I am.
I love myself enough to heal my own wounds, without attaching to someone.
I can suck energy, reciprocate it, but maybe I did wrong. All I know is I always give it back.

=================.

Go find 'him friend. He is waiting for you. If he still doesn't see you for the individual (complete) that you are.
Then it is his loss.

I just have to place my peace that _ I cannot be substitute
_ I cannot be temporary
_ I have no strength to be crutch no more

I love me, too you know!! Sheesh.

Physician Description.

Back to regular sh*t!

That is -depression with brief moments of mania.

Solid lifeless affect (facial expression).

And work, work work, work work work!!!

-[Message to the people out there

Husam's tender heart has been fucked with far too many times.
Scabs, wounds, and blood
If I'm still alive that means I AM STRONG!!

My theory [yet to be debunked]

"Beauty comes from Scars!!"


I am too beautiful, to be TOUCHED, by ppl who think
THEY KNOW what God is about.


I am slave of God.
God instilled me and inscribed me to FAMILY.
My blood is for life.
So if u want to shed it and make me bleed

GET VIOLENT!

I mean straight up gangster 12 shots/ non-stop stabs in the same spot!

Don't pussy out in the middle u lil B**CH!


-PS. The kid has been wounded, medicated, enslaved, confined
SO many times.

He has flawless control of the image that ppl see...

Good morning May 3... I am FREE.

Maybe I was never meant to marry (I GUESS IT WAS PRE-ORDAINED... eh FRIEND!!!).

Though I been longing for it since age 12..!!

...
..
.

OOOPs!!! *blinks twice

-{Recess is over Children!! Back to SH*T on a regular basis}.

--------------------------------------------------.

(8) Ima make a song out of them.

Kan-DiD Aura~1`.

SMile!!!

Your NaKed SouL is on the INTERNET, now!!!

Fuck off, and dream about Corvettes...
How about that...

I'm a Producer/Sound Artist/Humanitarian/Healer...

and all I wanted was to: --> share my first REAL kiss with u

-I guess 'it' was all NOISE in my HEAD!!!

ummmmm... listen to this for healing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo5mgFUFqXE&feature=grec_index

------------------------.
Peace in. Ur manic-depressive rides... OUT!

Noon Time.

I am 26 years old.

hmmm... in [my] head I am 25 hundred & 34 hours; 47 minutes; and 22 seconds {long}.

Take that for 1, eh!!

Peace!!

- [Show me your soul, Oh beautiful woman] - i think i'm ready, now!

*(~~~~~%[|| - Can't be a lil kid no more... (but inner child will pop in&out..]

Only by proper occasion.

-----------------------------------------.

Love.Soul.Woman.Earth.Sound.Cohesion.Sex.&Reflection.

-Husam.

Editorial. [NEVER to BE PUBLISHED].

Hmmm...

Today was a good day: - like Ice Cube said it.

Actually it's been a bunch of good days... [AHHH!!! This is new and rather scary to Husam]... am used to hearing screams in my house, seeing demons chasing me in my dream, and waking up with a sore stomach and dry mouth...

Maybe it is all a blessing because there is new and fresh, tender and strong presence in the lives of my fam.base?!

Maybe, baby!!! - Tony Soprano making fun of his psychiatrist (after being over-analytical)

What else...?! Let's face the past... go to JFSS (my old toilet seat where I woke up/ did homework/ masturbated all night/ and took long shits AFTER WEEKS of F***ing Constipation)

did 'I' say toilet seat?! I mean HIGH bull***/f*****/piece of s***/ motherf***king SCHOOL!!!

Do you know how frequently I had nightmare that I am stuck in an Exam room with no studying to back it up?

SEE THE FREAKING STRESS (internal/ you have caused...

... but I am Soul-jah! I kept a straight face (when I wanted to ex-f*****ng-plode on a daily basis

I only had one friend. His name was Brandon Orr {look it up on your 2003 Graduating class yearbook {{| Thnx 4 the signatures my ppl!! (-@-remember.U((.

... and then there was beautiful, eloquent, sensual (in my eye -sexual too... *cough) -----= Sadaf K.

Thank you for the healing sister! I guess Allah really has
mercy on our souls...

Maybe 'we' All needed it, collectively (for the Community)


Now finally -( i can float ____ walk on water next?! Maybe)...
The eternal has been scripted... write your own piece to be able to walk again... (that's my father's voice resonating in my head)...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------>.

I was here yesterday, Am here today, Shall be here tomorrow...
and I AIN't GOING NOWHERE, Mississauga!

SO F*** you Mr. Authority. Go suck my penis while I am releasing dung from my large intestine you little leach-rat-demonizing-evil-poop.smelling-rodent!!!

*tiger growl...

-------------------------------------------->.
Let me show you how to greet me when you see me, if you REAL my brother
you know how to Holler ----> HHHHHHHHHHHH-uSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAm~!

Respect it son! I AM your bigger brother!
I've been through it all...
Look at my record...
OH Snap!!! It's all confidential with the Government & Protected by my rightful & legal citizenship to this Nation that ever so dearly embraced me...
I am citizen. I am human.
Stop looking at me like I'm wierd.
I (through pain&long-term punishment for 'my' mistakes ==> Have acquired the sense and rationalle to ---> Do: "whatever I want, When-ever I want, However I want, with WHO-ever I friggin want, WHERE-EVER I want {so long as I greet with respect, appreciate the experience, and then bless with a positive prayer+thought}...

... AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

There, I am officially cleared of all Negative entities attached to my aura.

----------------------------------------------.

Let me "Mr. HuSaLler ---> aka 7usam A. Shubber, aka Hasanoon... end it with this

No More Pain: by -Tupac Shakur (i love you so much -(~((@-}.

"I came to bring the pain
Hard-core from the brain
Let's [all collectively]
Go inside
MY [which ur only welcom by invitation]

Astral plane~~~~~~~~~~~`1.

(c) DJ HuSaLler... May 1, 2011.
PS> It's my birthday tomorrow, SO CELEBRATE IT!!! Humanity... (same day as Prince William and Kate's wedding). aka Royal -by Blood _not status =Couple~1.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!: That is the sound of internal healing/ exhaled / to welcome and invite nothing less than G.O.O.D. presence in -="our"=- lives...

AMen.
---7sm.Shbr. HAHAHAHA: MC-Unit! H-Unit. Unity-Unison-Divine Order... and ...

Yazoo Choreographed DANCE.
Enjoy, ladies & gentlemen.
Welcome to the HuSaLler, show!

tune in to SW Freq. 2100 Hz ---> You'll maybe find me "FLoating like a butterfly & Stinging like a Bee"...

But... I guarantee you...
YOU'll never see me in my own EYE.

Just keep guessing...
Maybe you'll wake up too...
ANd get that BENZ you've been jerking off everynight for!!!

....
...
..
.

______________________.

Sincerely, mine & then... YOURS (by invitation only).


Peace~!
Blessings/Light/Yoga/Basketball/Music/Work/Colours.
Beats&Healing.

No more mental illness, children!
King Sticky Bee, said: "Don't Do drugs and you'll be just fine!!!...

[Did i ramble too much, again, Mom?!]
Lose Yourself in the moment. This opportunity comes one shot.
Failure is not an option no more.
Why should I let you live [and feed off of MY energy] when [in reality] I am [and have been for 2003-2010] Dead inside, Officer!

-Can 'We' Attenuate the noise... said Mr. Sean Savage [my teacher @Cencol] from the Trackmasters in the 1990's...

-It's all for a purpose... Just be-LIE-ve, son!
LOL.LMFAO, in your face!

Hehe!
Pssst... Pssst
-Are you afraid to die?? hmmm...
then Plz... Gently... Softly... Peacefully... Eminently... Eternally...

CAUTION: DO Not Look in MY EYES like: you know what I am about
what I've been through
what I am here for
& what my purpose here is for

BECAUSE: I am in a continual process of discovering, integrating, and
reflecting upon... What I AM ABOOT!!! eh...!!

-Peace&Love Children
(i been thru it --> so u won't have to...)

]-[ u $ @ }v{ = Shubber, Esq.

-=?! Are you entertained?!
= Good: I can package it
perfect it
brand it
sell it
& distribute it
---------------------------------------.

There. TWeX Ent. :It's all in the remix, man!
UR.Guided Foundation: Art for the kids, man!

Believe me, I have seen you in this life. I shall see you in the next!

Bye, hater.
---------------------.
Subhanallah, mashallah, alhamdulillah! AMeeen.
Hu.Sam.Military-Mind.Here for a 'hired' burboose!!
Kid!!

-it's the Kool Kat (my wife branded me that, HA!)
;-_+((*13054476358575 <== if you love me deposit some money thru Paypal.
Otherwise, FUCK YOU!!

One more thing, Mr. Psychiatrist in CVH!!!
-"I got my back against the wind
I'm down to ride until the sun burnout
---
If I die today
I am [thoroughly] happy [& greatful] how my life turned out

-50 (the General) Cent.

_the,candle.burns.til.the-beat-of.my.heart.stops_
_blessed.by.God_.
_shielded by angels_
_cohesive.by.wisdom-of.Black-Onyx._
_1`.
_4 Leen.
_4 Yara, too.
______________________________________________________________.
DONE. 3,2,1 [Are you ready}... Are you ready?!... ARE YOU READY!!!!
-Ready or not!!! Here I cum... (on ur face child...!!)


-I meant come, mother!! Sheeesh!!.

Aural Manipulations.

Since the beginning of time, when man walked the earth, ever so freely, with minimal restrictions, just instinct to rely on... evolution happened.
Then man became more educated, and formed social circles. From that came the concept of elite, and separation and disparity in class occured.

What is the solution to inequities in resources and opportunities...? Finding a common ground to unwind, relax, and de-stress at the end of the week's work, with mutual acquaintances with hopes that one of these days, we find one of them, who is a diamond in the dirt.

Only then will we truely learn the value of 'friend-ship'. Something that is risky because your heart, (which contains an accumulation of scars and pains), could be exposed to someone who could potentially: - love you to death, -or expose you and wound you once again.

But what is this problematic premise where if you were to expose your heart again, you will find love? Let us discuss in depth momentarily. The truth is the heart will be punched, beat down and scabbed a bit; but like the muscle that it is, it will flex, expand, and contract, and then ultimately (with that circular exercise) grow and strengthen... but only with time.

With time comes a dark tunnel, and the only lamp post is the faith that at the end of the tunnel, 'we' as an individual will become a stronger, more emotionally responsible, and self-empowered human being. With trust comes fear, with walking comes exhaustion, and with doubt comes pacing. But only if we synthesize and cohere our steps do we put trust (in something bigger than us), that our trips/falls/ups & downs will accumulate to a higher ground with fruits of the seeds we planted manifested and reaped... God-willing, Individual-driven. Blessed, healthy and loved.

Keep on walking my friends, keep on going, with what's really going on in your living conditions. Then maybe we can accumulate some authentic wealth, and when we stand tall again, instead of falling into ego once again, we can become philanthropists coloured by the art of our former pain and more giving and generous for the youth (or elderly) who deserve by the right of God... an equal opportunity.

God is hear. God is Here. Veins and Circulation.

-----------------------------------------------.

Reference:

Shubber, H. (2005). The Art of Measurement (2nd Ed., Vol. 1, pp. 12-37). Toronto: URG Publishings.

(c) Husam Shubber. 2011.

Excelsior's New Text.

Straight ^... G Style~!

Am liking the responsiveness from well-cultured individuals.
God bless the decent ppl doing their thing, and slaving hours on end.
We need people like them to borrow, infuse, and then cultivate from.
Then when we reap 'our' own green piece from the land... we shall share. iA.
-husam: said it! (will He do it? or just sleep on this one...~?!) . <( @\\`1.

----------------------------------.
TWeX barrs are consistently Under.Righteous.Guidance.
From the feet up!
Yeah, man!: say bismi-Llah. Ameen.

Dicing in White & Black.

Engine Start... 3, 2, 1 }---8---D-->. Commencing Sales motives, for summer of 2011, at the parkinglot, and dealership they call Erin Mills Mazda. !! Zoom Zoom, anybody?! ... Salams`1. Namaste... Aum. Hu. ~96{@Army-Sam.ms.on.ca`1. iA. bina2 husam shub`er.

Moist.

Some times what you experience around an individual beit male or female once the comfort is established the trust is present and feelings are exposed What is really experienced is your excitement of 'it' all coming together -a moment of vulnerability/strength intertwined- and suddenly it's a rush up the spine and that is [Ladies and Gentlement] not "love", "true love", or a moment "you've been searching for your whole life"... that --> in reality _(grounded and real)_ is a sensation of MaNia... and what you experience then... the love, the fear, the comfort, the loss of control, the break, and the healing ---> in real psychological terms is Simply... Rapid Cycling of Emotions. Experience it. Feel it. Hold it. But then -to maintain good mental health- Release it. Give it to the Uni-Verse. ---:/I guess that is what a hit of a drug (lust, rush, sweat, fast-heartrate, blurry vision, tremors and momentary panic) will do to your then "Clouded Senses". Wait til, you come back to reality, and you experience the crash... See if you (oh Mr. Intelligent) still feel the same way. Is that really what you defined as 'love' for yourself for so long? A temporary high? Did you like the crash on the way back for you on "reality's" ground? Hmmm... Smells like poop, doesn't it? Feels paralyzing and crippling? Make you feel like a child? Grow Up!!!!!!! And smell the roses once again. Mastering your emotions -{one day children}, is not deceptive and malicious (because of the duality in your facial affect) but maybe it is what 'real' grown Ups Do? Ha! Peace&Light. No love for today. Maybe its best to just maintain, sustain, reciprocate, work hard at (and thus elevate) Friendships... You ever think about that -Mr. LoveStruck Genius??? =*think u got it all figured out.. eh!!!. -------------------------------------. Bless`1. Husam Shubber. no more. nothing less. ~(@[[-1. References: Orr, B., Shubber, H. (2003). Awakening Your Own Self. Real Psychiatric Review Process (3rd ed., Vol. 5, pp. 153-187). Toronto, ON: URG Publishings. -------------------------------------------. Aum.

Abstract Transitions.

Saudi? hmmm... Summer eq'n: Heat(Dealership+Studio)=Money-Sweat^Ground ---> Saudi. iA.

Contra-diction~!

Testing... 1, 2, 3. Are we airing? No, not yet? ... okay. Shall I make beats then? Internal: YES, dammit! External: Fine. *more smiles in the day. `1.----------------------------------------->. Blessed.Hypnotic.Sound.

Ode to Esoteric yet Gorgeous.

Dear Beautiful lady... Plz... always remind me that I don't know you enough. That I need your permission to get to a more intimate level. That quality time is valuable, and need be earned. That always if I give my best... there is more to be learned... and always a possible step to integrate more... Depth. I don't crave superficial (smile/beauty/sex)... but rather inherently, intrinsically, naturally I desire... depth. Depth of spirit, depth of heart, depth of mind, and finally... in the eyes. Plz fulfill? And I will uphold my word, the I will continuously attempt to learn your ways, give my better, and ultimately share the 'best' with you... Oh, loved one! Blessed Be. [Lemme Upgrade You]... ----------------------------------------------------. HuSaLler * April, 2'11.

Realiz-ations..`1.

I worship... sound. Believe it or not. (but through "it", I met a newfound understanding, thus Admiration 4 God {The 1. Almighty}) I hate noise... so now I learned how to attenuate 'it'. I love rhythm and bass... but not all that's out there is MuSiC. hmmm... My peers are: Kudabox a.k.a Toque, and Truseye from Harmless Danger <-- he is my mentor & inspiration... Love~them.both. Now, I 'owe' my knowledge and synthesis to YorkU (where I met two of my most ~mUsIc-al friends). And I appreciate Centennial College, for giving me --> a 'healthy' OuT-let ~-`@...`1. Thank you, Sean Savage 4 the RECA program. That is Recording Arts. Thru 'it' I learned (& continuously Le@rn) to Record. Mix. Master. and hopefully... eventually... Produce. @ my own :/home Studio. Look out 4 HuSaLler beats. TWeX Enterntainment. & URG Movements. iA. bHs. -Esq1`. 3/4's To the max, with a Buck 50 for your Bank, son!!! Is this the re-birth of: McHuSaLler ?! Maybe, baby! 'Til then, stay tuned children @ 2147 kHz frequency SS... Come find 'me'. I'll see you, when I see you... but chances are... You Won't See me, brotherman! BleSS~Up. Pray~Down. LoVe~Internally. Breathe~Externally. ~1`. [If you build it, they will come] -Field of Dreams. ------------------------------------------------------. HuS@m..1` *(c). March 30th, 2011. -(~%~)-. Amen. Hu.

Essentially Simple.

Have you looked outside: son?

The date is March the 19, in the year of 2011.

It isn't yet... but it 'looks' like SpRinG.

What does this mean?
-more spring to your step (hopefully)
-more light in your day (yes!!)
-more relaxed weather in the night-time (should be good).

as well it is: -
i) Real Estate season
ii) Motorcycle season
iii) Soccer outdoors season.

-@{[[ # Can 'we' manifest those... oh father+mother?!
Can you limit the anxieties so these be do-able?!
Can you grace 'us' with protective shields, to dodge spears from starved haters?!

Hmmmm :- ....
Yeah, man! say: Godwilling, brotherman~!

-----------------------------------------.

HuSaLler (c). May (we) +* 2000 and 11.

iA.

Out there. From in Here.

Hmmm...

It's been a while... so here I go.

------------------------------------------------.

Take me away - [to a place I've never been before] } elevate me, help me levetate, because whenever I meditate, I find your love and I want to reciprocate.

I think I have found an authentic source of 'love'.
I am scared... it has never been this real before.
I dwell in a dynamic state shifting between a euphoric sense, a hint of anxiety, short moments of manic depression, and then a steady straight face mixed with a soldier's demeanor.

Am I less capable of 'love'-ing, because time and blessings have empowered me to -:/hide/ my true feelings.
I only fear that this is all temporary and is actually just a phase... of simple and plain InFatUation.

I do not like that. I like my love like a drug... deep, long-lasting, (might I say sedative), and leaving a permanent effect on my apparent affect (physical composure).
I want it to f*ck me up, awaken me in the middle of the night, give me jitters, allow me to touch insanity, just to come back to reality in the morning, and live a "mundane" life, anticipating the rollercaoster for another night... right before my Bed-time.

-------------------------------------------.

So now that you know...
Will you love me. Will you hear me (cry... silently). Will you touch me (when... I feel cold). Will you read right through me (through... the glare in your eyes).

Or will you be a regular girl.
Buying your Starbucks coffee. Eating a different delicacy in designated "chill" sittings. Texting your 'fRieNds' about the latest and hottest joke/trend... ?!

Am I entitled to be on your iPod's playlist.
Do you hear my scream in the middle of the night, through that Lady Gaga song blazing through your ear-plugs? ... huh?

Or will you run to me when I need you most. When I am broken (in spirit) and hurt (in body). When I can't breath (because paranoia has made me rigid).

If I become incoherent, and mumble to myself in a room in 2D Department of the Psyche Ward in Credit Valley Hospital... will you come to visit to try to decipher what my genuine soul has promised even though my "behaviour" has seemed off the wall and inconsistent...?!

...?!

*No answer?!... maybe it is best that we part ways, so there is room for someone -out=there- to show me the love and support that will be needed as I embark through long and gruesome journeys to fulfill what 'I' believe I was put here on this Earth destined to fulfill...

The only problem is... 'I' don't even know ~ @`1... It is a continuous process of discovery, through trial and error, to reach one day a goal, that maybe has been written for me to achieve... as I have come to respect that a life without purpose... is a journey with no destination...

--------------------------------------.

Down to ride? Through thick and thin? When we're both broke, and all I have is $0.17 for gas money, a little food, and that Ice-cream I promised we would have in the midst of the hazy summer.

I love you girl. I'm your Clyde... try to be my Bonnie.

Just the two of Us - [We can make 'it' if we try] } Let's look at each other's eyes and try to make it against all odds... only then can we say... in 40 years, that 'We' made something out of nothing... by our collective power of intent, and through the gift of divine inspiration, and the missing element of ---Trust in G'od--... that : Hah! We believe and then we achieve(d).

Maybe then 'our' story is worthwhile to share... hmm..
Can we say... "grandkids"??!!

*Grins big...*

-------------------------------------------------.

Come what may - [ Peace, love, struggle, strife, steadfast-ness, inspiration, trial & error, passion, obsession, compassion, and... Light ].

: - ).

----------.

HuSaLler.
(c) Mar. 2011`.
~@ [ [ 1.
(%)

Poetry in Truth.

This is a poem that I found intriguing. It is written through the perspective of a man struggling with mental illness.

Hear his struggle, feel his pain. But don't feel sorry for him... for even he sees the bright light at the other side of the life-long tunnel.

---------------------------------------.

THE NIGHTMARE'S EDGE
-by Brent Leonard Wolters a.k.a. The Roseman

What's in my head?
I feel like I'm being stretched like a rubber band
and that I'll snap back at any second,
start talking to the walls and trying to sit on the ceiling.
I have all these plans-
books, trips, getting out of debt, work,
friendships, relationships.
And on the edge of it all,
the specters are stirring,
the voices are clamoring,
drawing breath to speak again-
because they've been ignored.
Madness wells up from below the surface,
seeps out of my skin like sweat.
I'm afraid of myself,
and the urge to hide away is growing.
I don't trust myself,
and certainly wouldn't want to hurt anyone.
I do care, I love people.
I'm afraid of the beast within
that I keep chained and locked away.
Do I tell them?
Do I share the nature of the thing inside?
Can I keep this thing under my control
or will it escape again?
The nightmares have returned.
Maybe I should share...
would it help?


---------------------------.
*Silence*
Ever so powerful.

-HuSaLler.

Abstract... in its Eternity.

This is a reflection on a period of time in my life. Once ever so powerful, with moments of most tranquil vibrations. Was it divine. Hmmmm. All I know is my feelings were the deepest I have felt, and to this date I haven't had that much movement in my internals since.

This is a short story, about "Her". My once significant other. God bless you! You were my knight in shining armor (although I am the male in this relationship). I always have you in prayers, and though I don't see you very often, know that the love is there.

She's a special kinda girl/ from her hips to thighs she drive me mental the way she twirl/ love with her would nurture and unfurl/ I miss her smell, her eyes to the way her hair strands curl.

Peace. Fam. 1.

"I want you back!" -> like JacKsoN 5.

-------------------------------------------------.

You were my life. You lit up my heart. You set my soul on fire. You aroused me sensually, intriguied me mentally, touched me emotionally, comforted me physically, and balanced me spiritually.

I need you back. You were my girl. My heart and soul. My life will never be the same, like MJ, because you rocked my world.

I am empty. My body is beat, and my heart remains heavy. I make friends, but none of them reach into my internals with as much depth as you did. I reminice on nights we used to chill, comfortably, on the couch in November, and you and I were one. We were cohesive. Immaculate in our shine, and somehow it seemed like we cancelled each other's polarities out. You covered for my flaws, and I lifted you up to a higher plane, mentally. You called me amazing.

You were fluid with my crew. My team remains restricted to only the most loyal and insightful individuals. They are a few. You were welcomed with a seal of my emotion into my militia, riding into the night, until the break of dawn. I remember us, you and me, meant to be, just wasting time on my driveway. Funny how time is relative. When you are laughing, you lose track of it, when you cry it slows down, when you are under the weather it is eternal, and when you are in love it is frozen. The moment was ours. I could hear the rain trickle on the windshield, the train bellow on its tracks in motion. Touching you, what once seemed forbidden, I was unashamed of, but rather greatful for. From that moment, integrated in the energies, intertwining, absorbing every drop of your love-juice into my system, I knew I could tithe, only because my inner most primal spirits have been fed.

You were the reason I shine. I hold you up as high as my crown. You were mine. I am yours. We were once, now no more. My love is unconditional. My love is unattached. I love you the way God's love is, in its abundance, so natural. I see you. As you are. Perfect, with your imperfections. Your eyes exude peace. My life seems in order when I look into them. I am aligned with my cause on this planet. I have met you before, in a past life... I think. I now understand oneness. Internal peace. I feel empowered. No more cowering under the mask of the emotionless soldier getting his piece from the world. Moving forward yet internally motionless, no growth, no senses (other than my 5). Nothing...

I have grown to accept things that were once unclear, with you rooting me down to the ground. I do not have to be in control of all the things in my life. It seems I carry my world on my shoulders, simultaneously planning every step I will take, reflecting on the choices I've made, contemplating how I will nest upon reaching my destination. I am joyful for experiencing all of the pain. "Nothing" isn't so bad, afterall. Emptiness is love in its truest form. Is that logical? Well with you holding me down, being there for me at the end of the road, smiling internally with a twinkle in your eye, I know that the trials and tribulations carry weight, and because of you... I am worthy.

I can see you the way the angels see you. They love us for the joy we bring into our worlds. Is that selfish of you and I? No... You have made me content with where I am, a feeling untouched since my incarnation in this lifetime. I only hope I have brought as much fulfilment into your existence as the happiness you have brought into mine. They (the angels) live a life of service. Bringing guidance and touching us with light when we fall off our karmic path. Hmmm...

Lost is the feeling I have felt half my life. Now that you are gone, I still love you. Not in a possessive, obsessive manner, but rather pure, detached, and from the eyes of the angels. You are not mine, nor have you ever been. You have brought within me only what could become present by summonig the highest good of all. Intelligent you are. Beautiful your aura.

I give you respect for never bringing harm in my path, but rather insight, guidance and awareness. Although, lost the balance had been on its occasions, but only to be regained with growth in the process. I never worry. I am loved and thus strong. You are my lighthouse, in a sea of darkness. Comfort is what I feel with my knowledge, with its certainty that my destination lies with you.

-----------------------------------------------------.
And so it is... Under Righteous Guidance~!
We ride together. We die togehter.
OnE LoVe. TwO UniTed.

Homies 4 Lyfe. I love you, Girl.

------------------------------------------------------.
I leave you in peace.

God Bless~1`.

HuSaLler. 2009 (c).

(~6@9~)^*`'.

@.(_(1.